Monthly Archives: November 2008

destroy all iPods

Michael Cera’s quiet, shy act works well when it’s played against a strong personality — the insane family in Arrested Development, the wisecracking title character in Juno. But when Cera’s Nick is put up against a female version of himself — spineless, introspective, but exquisitely attuned to the tiniest tremors in underground music — the chemistry is absolutely inert, and both characters remain leaden, lumpen, and dull onscreen.

Which is a shame, because there’s a fairly funny movie going on around them, or at least in the same neighborhood. Maybe it’s hiding wherever Where’s Fluffy? is playing. Aaron Yoo, Rafi Gavron, and Jonathan B. Wright are effective and charming as the good fairies trying to give their buddy a shot at love, and Ari Graynor brings the only really solid (if lowbrow) laughs as an over-the-top drunk from New Jersey who gets lost in the city. Meanwhile her bubblegum becomes a character all its own, and maybe the most interesting one, as we watch it move from mouth to mouth to places bubblegum should never go and then back to mouth again. The gum gag feels like it’s from another, cruder, more engaged movie, but at least it gets the audience to say, “Ewwwwww,” which is the strongest reaction this Teflon-coated unmovie is likely to coax out of anybody.

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maybe he needed the money to buy a hotel

Via Ghost in the Machine, Ridley Scott has signed on to direct the movie version of loathsome childhood game Monopoly. I literally would not believe this if it weren’t confirmed by The Hollywood Reporter.

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i ate what?

So this is a little project an old friend of mine just started — a photo blog documenting meals. So far it’s mostly her own, plus a couple of guest contributions. But there’s a weird fascination to this. It’s intimate … Continue reading

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it’s here. really!

Well, heck. That was surprising. I’m pretty sure I’ll end up buying this — how could I not? If you want a listen: Chinese Democracy – Guns N Roses

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Here’s a nifty idea: create an image search tool that lets you upload a pic and see if it’s out there on the web. I had this idea years ago, but unfortunately I’m not a programmer, a developer, an investment … Continue reading

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caressing the air like a silky, silky prayer

All right, clearly we’re spending too much on dairy products if the Got Milk? people have enough money for this: And in general, can we just declare a moratorium on mocking the excesses of 1970s piano-driven glam rock? Rockers were … Continue reading

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found footage vs. the flying saucers

I’d seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers before. It still holds up, although there are a few bizarre moments — hero Miles Bennell rushes over to girlfriend Becky’s house in the middle of the night to protect her, but rather than getting out on his own side of the car as any normal person would, he dramatically slides across the bench seat and jumps out the passenger side instead. And of course, there’s the unintentionally hilarious line: “I never knew fear until I kissed Becky.”

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a poem by the great Langston Hughes

I think this is appropriate no matter who you’re voting for, no matter who wins tonight. God bless all of America. I, too, sing America. I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen When company … Continue reading

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democracy is ass-backwards

Look, like most voters I’ve known for the better part of a year who I wanted to vote for in today’s presidential race. Okay. That’s not hard. These guys have weathered all the poop flung at them by party flacks and media commentators, and at this point everybody has his own opinion about who’s really covered in poo and who’s just taking a nice rose-scented mud bath.

But what about the rest of the ballot? Turns out there are, like, six more pages to the stupid thing — a couple devoted to people and jobs I’ve never heard of, and several more devoted to various ballot propositions.

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all pumpkins are racist! but I admit it!

The Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons have always been my favorites, and now they’re the only ones I watch: There’s something really wonderful about The Simpsons freed from the need to be nice, or even realistic. And because … Continue reading

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